happiness - I wonder if thats what every human being strives for, a desire to be happy and content. so I guess what I'm wondering is if thats the basis of the human nature?. I know thats what I want, but maybe I'm being to narrow minded, and thinking of myself, I don't know!
I've never been able to get my head around what "happiness" means to me. I know I want it, I know when I find it my life will be complete, but how am I supppose to find it if I don't know what I'm looking for?!
I know I've looked for it in all the wrong places, I've looked for it in bones, in a number of mind altering substances, in people, in relationships, in casual sex, in religion, in health and fitness, in materialistic things, in therapy, it doesn't matter where I look, I just can't seem to find what I'm striving for!
I know, you're going to say 'I need to find it in myself' but I can't, its not there either.
The stupid thing is I feel so ungrateful for saying all this, I've got the best thing in the world ever, my precious daughter, and I love her more than anything, but I feel like somethings missing, like there's a part of me not there.
I'm yearning for something to complete me, for something to fill the empty bits, I just wish I knew what it was, it'd make the search so much easier!!!
QueeneMab
I think you will find it. You have already found the things that don't make you happy and that is the first stage.
YOu know some things which help to make you happy like your lovely daughter.
I think perhaps it is trying to understand how being happy will make you feel.
Will you feel even and level?
Are you expecting a feeling of constant joy and highs?
Is it a feeling of contentment with the status quo?
Everyone is different.
For example I am happy if I am with the ones I love family and friends and they are well and happy, if I have a job I can stand that allows me to pay the bills and have some fun too. And any little achievement, whether it is an exam I have passed or even when I passed my driving test many years ago, or the fact that I have taken the weeds out of the flower bed and it looks nicer. But when I am really happy I feel like I am singing inside and everything around me seems light and colourful. I have never experienced full blown depression, but there have been times when the singing has stopped and everything has seemed dull and grey and flat.
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