Poison

Why does he keep getting in contact, reminding me he's there.

He tells me I'm fantastic person(patronising bastard!)...

Then tell me he thinks he loves her.

He knows how I feel about him!

why do I do it!!!

another bad boy!!!

another flame!!!

why do I have to touch it!!!

We've spoke a few times recently, he says he doesn't know what he wants, we're supposed to be meeting next week to talk about things. I think he's seeing her this weekend and I'm being well and truely played!!!

So I've decided thats it. I AM NOT going to contact him again. Its completely over, he's had his chance, and as much as I love him, I have to love me more. I'm worth more than waiting around for someone to decide if they want me. If he doesn't know then he doesn't deserve me. I need to completely cut him out of my life, because if I don't I know I wont be able to move on. As much as that is going to kill me, its self preservation.

I stupidly text him this morning! (that won't happen again!). Number now deleted!

I've been on the sunbed! I'm gunna start frequeting the gym (He will realise what he's lost)
I kind of can't believe things are well and truely over. I keep expecting him to ring me, and tell me he doesn't want anyone else, I want him to tell me he only put space between us because he was scared of his feelings for me, but he's realised he can't live without me! and of course like a twat I'd believe him! LOL!!!

Right now I'm sad. Sad that I believed a man, and all the bull he was feeding me, it won't happen again.

I need a good girls night out!

I've been burn't once too many times, in future I'm gunna wear fire proof gloves and have a fire extinguish present at all times, Its a look I think I can work!

I'm not sure whats best... living with blinkers on and being happy.

or.

seeing the bigger picture, knowing everything, and being sad?

I wonder if there are any truely nice men out there! In fact I know there are!

I suppose what I really want is a passionate man, one thats a bit rough around the edges, who know hows to treat a women. I want someone to wine and dine me. Treat me like a whore in the bedroom. Someone who keeps me on my toes, doesn't give me everything I want(cause thats too easy), someone who expects something back.

But someone who I can trust!

Mmmmmmm I'm not too sure all that goes together!

You meet someone. You really like them, they appear to really like you. You fall in love, you think they've fallen in love too.

Things get a bit to heated, a bit to complicated, so you cool things to try and concentrate on the more complicated issues (supposedly!). You stay friends.

Then WHAM! You find out they've been seeing someone else. Suppose its true what they say, what goes around, comes around